I closed the door behind me flipping the lock on the handle in order to keep me in and others out. After an abundant flow of tears, I could not handle the drama any longer and removed myself from the room where my youngest child lay wailing.

A few years ago, when our daughter was just learning to walk, we discovered that she was nearly blind in one eye. Some time after being fitted for glasses, we were told that she would need to wear an eye patch for several hours a day to strengthen the muscles in the eye.

This process is painful and uncomfortable for our daughter and, over a year in, it has not progressed enough to make the situation any easier. This is where her ironclad will comes into play in the drama that is our life with an eyepatch. Gone are the fun days of imitating pirates and rewarding with sugary treats. These are the days of one willful soul being pinned against the other. Hence a mothers need to hide in a locked room.

In a moment of fury I lamented my frustrations disguised as a halfhearted prayer. My lack of enthusiasm evident to the Lord. And it did not take long before I realized that the Jesus wasn’t interested in my whining. The root of the issue in which I was struggling was not my child’s lack of obedience. It was mine.

For we live by faith, not by sight.
2 corinthians 5:7

Like a bulb illuminates a dark room in a mere moment, the Holy Spirit illuminated my frustrated soul. I know my child’s stubbornness will one day be a benefit. And I know that God can mould her character but it would appear I forgot that truth and had ceased my prayers in asking the Lord to appeal to the heart of my child for I misplaced my belief that He could. Or that He would.

We exist in an instant gratification society that robs us of bearing witness to great truth: though we may not see Christ at work in the immediate moment, rest assured He is working. And what we may or may not see is often seen through our own personal filter. Not always accurate, and often misleading. It is our faith that must carry us through the trails and tribulations of life. It is our faith that must carry us through all situations and circumstances that threaten to squeeze us. And it is our faith that must be what pushes us to unlock the door and step outside of our hiding place.

Father, let me not be blind to the issues that I need to lay before your feet. Let me not be ignorant to the ever growing need to strengthen my spiritual muscles. Continue to illuminate my soul by your Spirit and petition your throne with my prayers. In Jesus name, amen.