Blink Of An Eye

I debated. I wavered. I attempted to reason it our within my own mind. In the end, I did not ask. I did not ask for I knew the answer the person would give me. I knew that they would be uncomfortable. I assumed that the only reason they might have agreed would be to meet an expectation. My expectation.

In wisdom I knew that it was not the right time nor place to reach out to the soul who was laid upon my heart, but wisdom has also taught me to be prepared for when the time and place will make itself known. This is an expectation I must count on for I have been trying to lay a foundation of the Gospel for some time now within the boundaries of the relationship. Wisdom has taught me that I have made this mistake before and lived to tell about it. And here lies the third barrier that inhibits us from experiencing abundant relationships through grace: expectations.

Expectations have a sneaky way of severing our peace of mind and greatly damaging the different relationships we have in life. Quite often we are unaware of what our expectations even were until the moment they are unmet. Then, in the blink of an eye, we realize that we’re pitching our tent again in that pit we have come to find so comforting. So why do we, as brothers and sisters in Christ, find ourselves dwelling in the pits of unmet expectations? I believe there exists three not-so-comforting reasons:

1. We Assume Others Think As We Do.
If something is logical to us, then-of course!- it should be logical to others. If we expect a certain outcome, then others should be thinking the same way we are. Our expectations can cause us to develop a storm of emotions such as anger, sadness, anxiety, and shame. We believe that if we are feeling a certain way about a situation then it must be truth. But our emotions are not reliable for they can change in an instant, and we cannot rely on our emotions to be our moral compass. As transformed children of God, we have the power of the Holy Spirit to lavishly gift us wisdom.

2. We Have Ulterior Motives
As innocent as our motivation may appear, we do harbour a desire for a certain outcome, and one that gives us what we want, or agrees with our stand on an issue. Wanting to control the outcome raises expectations and paves the way for us to have judgemental thoughts and opinions. Having ulterior motives can be quite innocent… but we all have been in a situation where we saw it going one way, but then somehow the road becomes blinded by a dust storm and we don’t know how we ended up on the wrong road. And then we get emotional about it.

3.Insecurity and Fear of Change
When we judge others we are often judging something that we do not like about ourselves. Continuously seeking the opinion of others may be because we want and need validation or approval for our choices. Sometimes we can react strongly when we do not receive what we need, or what we think we need.

Matthew 16:24, Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.

Look closely and we can see that the truth of how we can successfully deal with our expectations is through the submission of our minds and emotions to Jesus. When we can think with the mind of Christ, and experience healthy emotion through the process of responding instead of reacting, we can let go of lofty expectations. By do so, we can then experience the freedom of not putting expectations upon the shoulders of others that we would not desire others to put upon us.

Our shoulders we not meant to carry this burden of expectations. There simply isn’t room upon our shoulders when we have taken up our cross to follow Him.

Father, help us to wake each morning by the dawns light and submit ourselves unto your cross so that we may walk in freedom from the expectations that possess the ability to hurt us, and hurt those around us. In Jesus name, Amen.

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