Psalm 63:5, My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
The grocery store was bustling and carts were nearly overflowing. I held tightly to my daughters little hand as I tried to weave my way through the crowd. All I needed was deep green apples, their tart flesh the star of tomorrows dessert. Tomorrow we will gather and literally break bread to celebrate our national holiday: Thanksgiving.
The more food my daughters eyes took in, the louder she declared her hunger. As we made our way through the section containing fresh breads and baked goods, she wailed, “Mommy, but I’m starving!”
I stopped and looked down at my small but mighty child. I answered, “Darling, you haven’t a clue what it feels like to be starving.” Before long I had made it through the grocery store and on route home.
Later in the afternoon a calm hush had fallen over my home. I gathered the ingredients I needed and decided it would be a good time to bake my buttery apple crisp. My eldest came into the kitchen and started to pepper me with questions. This and that and all things random that bounce about the head of a seven year old child never cease to amaze me.
She looked up at me while she rambled and shared an amusing story about her school teacher and how she made a mistake in class the other day. It was apparently amusing to an entire class full of seven year olds. She continued by sharing that when she makes a mistake, her teacher just circles the mistake and helps her to fix it. She then asked, “Mom, you make mistakes too, right? What kind of mistakes did you make when you were, you know, younger?”
Pardon Lord? I hear you. I can see you. Really?
Yes Beloved.
So, I shared with my daughter that yes, I did indeed make lots of mistakes when I was young. And I still make lots of mistakes now. That is a part of being human. I rambled on myself praying all the while that she was making sense of my simple and carefully chosen words.
My daughter continued to talk while she handed me apple after apple. I cut and sliced listening to her while getting lost into my own thoughts.
I looked over at my child and silently prayed that she would never make the biggest mistake I had made when I was young and naive. I prayed that she would never know what it meant to be spiritually starving.
When I was the ripe old age of seventeen years, I stepped away from God and everything I had learned and loved as a young child. I allowed the emotionally, spiritually, and mentally damaging mistakes of others in my precious life break me from the inside out. I was hurt and angry and abandoned. Before long, I was spiritually starving which then manifested into several different areas of my life.
But I will not stand before my Redeemer and account for all the mistakes made by others. I had to account for my own mistakes before Jesus. Because I offered my heart in obedience and submission, I will now stand before my Redeemer and be free of my mistakes. The testimony of my life is already rich and layered. It continues to become richer each and every day.
It grows richer because I am spiritually feeding myself from the richest of foods. I partake of His Words and feast on His spirit. I am becoming satisfied with the bounty set before me from The Lord’s banquet table- not my own.
Father, may we always be grateful for what is before us, never curious to eat from the wasteland of the world. And may we be spiritually full and satisfied, spreading it around and feeding others from this bounty. And I pray that my children never know what it truly feels like to be starving. Amen.
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Melissa, you write so beautifully. I absolutely cannot get enough of your blogposts. Thank you for your words. You are a blessing!