Plumb Worn Out

There is a little hideout that I have found myself frequenting as of late. A particular close friend and I can find ourselves whittling away hours together digging through the bins of this charity store.

The goods we stumble upon are like finding gold nuggets buried within mountains of trash. But truth be told, I have come to recognize that the time I spend in this store isn’t about the treasures in the bins, but the treasures to be found within the hearts of the most eclectic gathering of souls. I have found myself countless times listening to the tales of others and recognizing the promptings of the Holy Spirit to share my faith.

Once again I was gifted the opportunity to make known the name of Jesus. The woman of whom engaged me was a familiar face from my travels there, but she and I had never had a conversation. In comparison to this woman, I looked like a pale wallflower next to her rich ebony skin and sparkly eyes. With hands clutching secondhand treasures, she unburdened her heart and unleashed an emotional storm. She has dreams, hopes, and wishes for her life. She has gifts and greatly desires to use them. But she feels overwhelmed by the effort required and is riddled with doubt.

This precious woman knew God, had served Jesus, and had attended a church, but in her soul she went through a time when she struggled with what she truly believed. She began to question the authority of the bible and if it really was the inspired Word of God. Since all humans are flawed, and the scriptures were penned by human hand, she began to wonder if the bible was flawed as well. In an effort to ease her discomfort, she took it upon herself to study the scriptures in a deeper more meaningful way. This process led her to believe that the bible was indeed the inspired Word of God… but her struggle with her faith did not dissipate. In wisdom she shared that to stand firm in the faith, one must know how to defend it. One must learn to wield their sword- know its power and respect it. This girl was emotionally plumb worn out.

As I stood in fascination and listened as she spoke about scripture, it became clear to me that this child of God knew the truth in her heart… but is seeking an emotional connection within her soul.

And I believe that that is where many of God’s children struggle. We often crave an emotional response with the Holy Spirit in order to feel connected and know that not only is Jesus real, but that He is simply there. When the emotional response is lacking- like we find ourselves drifting off during prayer, not actively participating in worship because we’re watching others worship, or find ourselves reading the same paragraph in our bible three times in a row because our mind has wandered away- we feel disconnected from heaven.

Let us look a scripture from the book of Daniel that is a verse that speaks to me personally. Daniel spirit has become incredibly burdened and fearful as he is interpreting his dreams of the last days to king Belshazzar. Daniel is speaking of the enemy and his role in these last days before Christ’s return:

He shall speak words against the Most High,
and shall wear out the saints of the Most High,
and shall think to change the times and the law;
and they shall be given into his hand
for a time, times, and half a time.

The term saint is derived from the Latin word SANCIRE which means to CONSECRATE- to declare something sacred and dedicated to a divine purpose. When we are filled with the Holy Spirit and being transformed by the Spirit, we are being consecrated to Christ- we are dedicating our lives to Him and being set apart from the world. We are the saints of Christ’s church. And if we are not careful, we can easily become riddled with doubt because our enemy- who speaks words against God- desires that we question His very book. You and I can very easily become emotionally plumb worn out.

The Good News is that we don’t need to be. Let us not be fooled to believe that every emotional response we feel is accurate. Let us not be deceived into believing that just because we can’t “feel” Him, He isn’t there. And let us not allow the enemy of our soul to riddle us with doubts that our Saviour is even listening.

Whether we sense the presence of Jesus or not, that does not change the fact that He is present. What we feel does not change who God is.

Father, let us not be fooled but walk in wisdom when we feel worn out and riddled in doubt. We know and will stand upon the truth that your Word will never fail us nor steer us down a crooked path. In Jesus name, Amen.

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