Psalm 121:5, The Lord watches over you — the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

The sun was high and warm, swiftly eating away the puddles of water left behind by a late night thunderstorm. I walked along the neatly paved pathway as our children ran ahead of us on route to the playhouses further up the walkway.

A friend and I had gone to spend the morning playing in a park attraction built upon the fantasies of storybooks. My children love to spend hours gliding from one fun spot to another: playing with the barn animals, watching a live musical performance, hitting up the expansive climbers, or frolicking through the splash pad (sometimes clothes and all).

As our children played in the pretend village that included a grocery store, animal hospital and bank, my friend and I sat ourselves upon a large rock that sat in the middle of all the action. I thought to sit in this particular spot so that I could keep my eye upon my youngest daughter who is nearly three. She is an overly friendly child whom is quick to follow the action wherever the action may lead her.

A short time later I noticed a few park workers wandering around in circles and talking on walkie talkies apparently searching for someone. There was a “code yellow” alert in the park and five staff members including one supervisor were searching for a missing… parent.

An employee in the gift shop at the entrance of the park found a small child with a plastic cart shopping in the gift store. Alone. The employee alerted security to her discovery and within moments security was searching for the missing parent.

What mother allows her child to wander off and make her way to the front of the park unattended?

Apparently this one.

Oh, my shame. The entire fiasco lasted mere minutes, but the moment I raised myself from the rock and decided to just “double check” that my daughter was indeed still in the playhouse, until the moment when I was approached by security, felt like hours. Somehow my child managed to slip from eye-line long enough to swagger over to the gift shop on the hunt for a few new things. As I stood in the middle of the very path I had just earlier wandered with not a care in the world, I saw my daughter rounding the corner with her tiny, chubby hands outstretched grasping the hands of two park employees on either side of her. She walked with confidence, soaking up the attention and not sure what all the fuss was about. She was just doing a little shopping.

It is in those moments that a mother’s emotions waver from one end of the spectrum to the other. I was embarrassed and feeling the need to apologize profusely, then angry with myself for letting her slip through my grasp so quickly. What could have happened in those few minutes? What if she was gone from my gaze forever? What if I could never forgive myself for such a tragedy? What is my husband never forgave me?

Whoa. It’s time to stop the what if’s. We simply can’t live in the what if’s. We must put aside our pride and live in the what now.

Now, I will be a little more careful. Now I will offer my gratitude and thankfulness to the young person who found her and the other five that found me. And I will give praise to my Father in heaven that loves me for opening my eyes a little wider in order to see my daughter’s spirt and soul more clearly.

My little lamb needs a shepherd. Left to wander, she will find herself lost and not even know she has taken the wrong path home. I must love a little harder, trust in Him a little deeper, to help my little wanderer run right into the arms of Jesus.

And that rock I was sitting on? Yes, the rock. My soul is reminded this day that I have built my life- my trust- upon that rock. The rock is my foundation, and even though I was sitting on that rock, life still blew into my path.

I did not panic nor allow myself to wallow into tears within the moment. Yes, my emotions flew me from one end to the other, but I know deep down within my heart that Jesus knew exactly where my baby was even if I did not. And if tragedy were to befall me, He would still know for I have given to Him my child.

Father, whatever the situation, whatever the circumstance- even if sorrow were to follow us all the living days of our life- you would always know where we are and have us tucked safely within your arms. No, your arms do not look nor feel the same as a mother’s, but your’s are better, stronger, and ever-lasting.

Yes, no matter the situation or circumstance, You are watching over us- she in her wandering, me in my shame.