My husband and I have a friend who is nearing the twenty fifth anniversary of his sobriety. To listen to him share his story is inspiring for he isn’t shy to lament the most difficult of truths in his recovery: making amends and forgiving others.

When he first darkened the door of an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, he met another man who shared aloud a sentiment that has stuck to his soul like a burr. The man expressing his deep-seated need for sobriety from the front of the room shared that he didn’t have a drinking problem… he had a living problem.

Twenty five years would roll by filled with sobriety meetings and all manners and attempts of making amends. New passions and lifestyle changes took the place of drugs and alcohol, and a healthy focus on his children and career became a priority. Many aspects of his life did not turn out the way he may have anticipated, but greater knowledge gained ground as each year passed. But it wasn’t until wisdom began to take root that he realized he was missing the greatest aspect of letting go and letting his higher power take greater control.

He confessed that for many years he gave lip service to forgiving others but when he hit rock bottom emotionally he realized that was all it was: lip service that did nothing but appease his conscious. Deep within his soul bitterness and resentment had entangled themselves into his very being causing much too much turmoil on his emotions. On the outside he appeared to have his life together: successful career, decent relationships, and a healthy outlook of his sobriety. But, on the inside, he was a hot mess.

When he took a long hard look at himself he knew he needed to change from the inside out, not from the outside in. He needed to offer true forgiveness to those who hurt him, forgive his father for the pain that was inflicted upon him, and forgive himself for holding on to it all.

“Don’t judge others, and you will not be judged. Don’t accuse others of being guilty, and you will not be accused of being guilty. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and you will receive. You will be given much. Pressed down, shaken together, and running over, it will spill into your lap. The way you give to others is the way God will give to you.”
Luke 6:37-38

So, he forgave. He sought forgiveness from others and decided to make sure he was cleaning up his side of the street. The greater he sought wisdom, the greater wisdom he received. He knew the truth that he could not make others see the errors of their ways, but he could make amends for the errors, mistakes, and sins of his own making.

This was a new starting point in his journey. He recognized that he had a living problem and did something about it. He put faith into action and forgiveness followed his footsteps.

Father, help me to freely offer forgiveness to those who have wronged me; seek forgiveness from those I have wronged. You word is truth and I know that in order to be forgiven, I must forgive. Let me not offer lip service but offer my heart to your service. In Jesus name, amen.