I sat and listened as a woman lamented her latest heartbreak with her partner. I was fascinated as her emotions swept from anger, disgust, sadness, empathy, forgiveness, only to go right back to anger. She fluttered between giving up and trying again. Round and round the crazy cycle they ride and she cannot figure out why and what to do about it.

Able to own up to her own mistakes, She is unable to see where sin has taken root. She understands that rash decisions were made and the relationship moved too quickly with no concern for the consequences that would not only befall her, but the children involved on both sides. Once again she has found herself standing in the middle of a mess by her own making, heels stuck in mud and muck so far reaching it skims her elbows. Her confession was one that bespoke of a lie bought hook, line, and sinker. She believed that she could help change him unaware of the truth that she did not truly know him.

There have been situations and circumstances within my own life where I believed I could change myself simply by trying. But history has taught me that no matter how hard I try, I will always fail. When sin gets a grip upon one’s life, the ability to completely break free and walk away unscathed is nothing short of a miracle. And God is in the business of miracles.

In order for one to change their character they can’t just need to change… but they must want to change.

And great change begins when we can take an honest look at our moral compass and acknowledge the truth of where it points. The things of which we struggle with within ourselves did not just appear over the course of a night’s slumber. Seeds of sin embed themselves into our soul and over time they slowly sprout and grow. When we live life ignorant of- or completely ignoring- the ‘rules’ by which God desires us to live, anger, jealousy, unfaithfulness, gracelessness, lust, and bitterness all have the ability to dig such deep roots that one can even be unaware of how far they really go.

And, truth be told, we cannot change the character or redirect the moral compass of another, nor can we change the direction of our own moral compass by our own strength and willpower. Oh, we may be able to convince ourselves otherwise, but sin can only be removed and wiped clean by Jesus. Without Him, rest assured streaks of sin will leave themselves on our soul like tire marks on a paved road. No matter how hard we may try, change can only come when a soul is able to grasp the want to, not the need to.

The Lord is not slow in doing what he promised—the way some people understand slowness. But God is being patient with you. He does not want anyone to be lost, but he wants all people to change their hearts and lives.
2 Peter 3:9

And just like our deeply embedded sins didn’t appear in a moment, it will take more than a moment for those sins to be completely removed. The shaping of one’s character takes trial and error; the washing of one’s soul time and patience under the care of Christ’s hands.

Father, help me to see the flaws within my own character before seeing the flaws within the character of another. Only you can remove the seeds of sin in our soul by digging them out from the root. As I seek your face, I thank you for being patient with me. Help me to be as patient with others. In Jesus name, amen.